Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
