I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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