She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
