well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
