yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
