Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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