so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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