dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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