so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
