Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
