so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
