She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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