guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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