I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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