eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize