oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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