Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
