Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
