I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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