ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
