Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
