He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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