it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You dont lie about slip and slides
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
