definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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