Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
