remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
