EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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