The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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