im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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