Your tits are I can't wait for
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
