Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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