bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
