I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
