dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
