What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I love you.
Bad choice
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