White coat. Heels.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
