I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i dont even know how to be here
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
