Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
