You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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