On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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