No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
