it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Success! We fucked roommates!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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