You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
