Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
