Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
