Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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