it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
