Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
