it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
