It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
