I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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