I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize