he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
