I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
