Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
