Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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