He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize