i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize