omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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