We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
porn star boner night. come get it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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