please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
