I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i will never coherently bang her
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
