I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
