My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
