so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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